So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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