I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize