apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
