Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize