My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
