It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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