Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
