Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
