addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
