You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
