tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
