Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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