you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
