you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
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I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
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Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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