I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
