I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
