I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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