yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
