Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
