: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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