Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
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was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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