Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
