I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize