My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
