Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
