This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
