If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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