he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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