Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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