you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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