the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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