I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
