WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
