will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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