I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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