K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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