we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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