Can i not drive my cunt home
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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