what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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