Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
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After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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