need another drink. this is the easiest way
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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