yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
