oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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