I just saw a hot homeless man
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
