I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
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Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
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Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need to calm my uterus...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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