She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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