Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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