she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
