just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
