i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
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It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
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The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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