just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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