i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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