from now on my penis is your penis
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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