I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
