you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
