How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
