I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize
