people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
