Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think a kid would responsible me up
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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